I think the bat that lives in my rafters wants to thieve my peanut butter...

The mysterious Japanese thermometer ventures towards its native habitat....the armpit.

My life here in Japan is proving to be less than glamorous as the weather gets colder and colder, transforming my humble paper house into a paper ice-cube.

Monday I had the pleasure of visiting a Japanese doctor. Now for the record, I hate going to the doctor. Why do you ask? Well,  the doctor's office is full of sick people. You go in sick loaded with your own germs, and come out covered in new ones. Going to the doctor is like going to Target to return something. You might go in to exchange a toaster, but you'll come out with a NEW toaster, a bag of Sun Chips, a copy of "Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure," and new pajamas. Bottom line, you go in with one thing and come out with a bunch of other stuff you don't need. 

So, on Monday morning this lone American found herself at work as usual, only there was nothing usual about it. I am normally FREEZING  at work. I wear 2-3 sweaters, a wool coat, long johns, and leg-warmers. Needless to say I knew I was running a little warm when I got to work and peeled off nearly all my layers and still found myself burning up. I headed to my Supervisor and said, "I think I need to go to the doctor." Off we went. 

The doctor's office in Japan is just like the doctor's office in America. There were a lot of sick people, magazines, and a TV. BUT since everything was in Japanese I felt quite out of place. The woman at the reception desk handed my Supervisor some paperwork, and handed me a rather dirty looking thermometer. This caught me off guard for several reasons. For starters, back home in the land of McDonald's we take our temperature orally, only there is always a little plastic shield between the patient and the fever-gaging device. Secondly, this thing just looked dirty and I wasn't exactly excited at the thought of putting it in my mouth. So, I cleared my throat, looked confused, pointed to the thermometer and said, "Doko desu ka?" Now as far as I know "Doko" means "where" and anything that ends in "ka" is a question. She seemed to gather that I was trying to figure out where to put the thermometer, and she pointed to my armpit. It all of a sudden clicked in my head why that thermometer looked so....weathered may be the kindest word. It was brought to my attention later that day that having your temperature taken out of your armpit is far more appealing than having your temperature taken rectally. That's when it occurred to me that there really isn't a desirable part of the body to take your temperature out of. 

After we discovered I was running a fever I was shown to the doctor's office. The tiny gray haired doctor was sitting alone in a big room with lots of beds and curtains at a desk that looked too big for him. He asked what was wrong, so I told him, "Well, I have a headache, a sore throat, a cough, and a stuffy nose." He took a few notes, tipped down his glasses and asked, "do you have loss of appetite?" I just said "yes," which I realize isn't very interesting. With that he asked where I was from, and when I told him "Seattle" he said what every Japanese person says: "SUZUKI-SAN!" With that, he sent me home with a lot of medicine to be taken after every meal. 

This is a powder stuff I have to dump down my throat and wash down with water. It tastes like the type of kitchen chemical that sits under the sink with a neon "yuck!" sticker on it. 

These are my throat lozenges. They look like TUMS and taste like Pepto-Bismol. 

These little red ones are rather small and inoffensive. 

These two are also rather small and inoffensive. 

The good news is that thanks to a lot of medication I am slowly inching my exceedingly pale-self closer and closer to health. The bad news is Japanese cold medicine lacks the energizing element contained in most American cold medicine. So despite the fact that I sleep 10 hours a night, I am groggy and exhausted all day. I miss Day Quil (which is illegal in Japan because it contains slight amounts of amphetamines). 

Now while my cold medicine doesn't have any daytime stimulants, it is chalk full of night time side effects. The past few nights I have had the most vivid dreams. For example, there is a bat in my rafters. I don't really mind because I figure he'll eat all the giant bugs that come around. Plus, I have really good insurance right now so if I'm going to get rabies this is the time. I first heard him flapping around in November after watching the X-Files by myself in the dark for a week straight. When I first heard his high-pitched squeaking I was convinced it was an alien. I've since stopped watching the X-Files because even at 22 I don't have the maturity to separate reality from 90s sci-fi television. So, last night I had a dream that the bat was in my kitchen dive-bombing me because he wanted my peanut butter. I woke up screaming "Get your own!" Being sick when you live alone is rough.

Stay healthy!