"The Slice"

So, needless to say there are a lot of things about my day to day life that frustrate the "be-jebus" out of me. For example, going to work everyday and being approached at least 7 times a day by my boss with the "excuse me Ereeeeeeeen-sensei, can I talk to you now? How do you say......." followed closely by things like "students not watch TV. How do you say not watch TV" Generally I smile and politely reply with things like "I don't watch TV." While secretly my inner monologue, who I have always imagined looks like Gimli from "The Lord of the Rings," stomps on my brain and screams (with an axe in his hand, arms flailing) "Why on Earth do you teach English, why??!?!"  Then of course, he retreats back to wherever it is that the inner monologue lives, and looks disgruntled....



So, as an outlet for my repressed frustration, I've taken running as a serious hobby. I'm even running a 10K Marathon in November, which doesn't seem like much, but I'd like to remind everyone that generally I am very lazy, watch Star Trek and eat ice cream for meals...... On the plus side, all this running has been a great way to explore Kunisaki, and a few weeks ago I found the most amazing place. Let me introduce you all to "The Slice."

I call this place "The Slice" because it is  my little slice of heaven, my little slice of solice, my little slice of sanity. If I'm not jogging along side the ocean, I am sitting on the beach with a book, toes in the sand, listening to the waves, and sometimes my I-pod. 

Generally I am the only person there, which seems sad considering how pretty it is. Nevertheless, being so close to the water makes me a happy little panda. I don't know what I'm going to do when it actually starts to get cold, but for now I am stealing away to "the slice" during every possible spare second. It sounds cheesy, but it is very comforting to know that home is somewhere across that big ocean, which means ya'll aren't so far away....

Japan 1, Erin 0

So, those of you who know me best know my love for re-fried beans. I can walk into a Mexican food restaurant, and without restraint eat an entire Burrito the size of an infant (and chase it down with a few Coronas...) Generally I walk out of the place looking 3 months pregnant. Well, thus far, re-fried beans have been virtually non-existent in this country. Disgruntled, I whined to Winston, who promised to send me some in my next care package....

Fast-forward one week, for the story is about to get interesting. One of my favorite teachers gave her students an essay. The assignment was to write me a letter about their favorite Japanese food, and tell me why I should try it. So, in the midst of missing my favorite food, I found myself at my desk reading about my students' favorite Japanese dishes. Most of them were really cute. For example "Try sushi. Sushi is happy." Then, I came across the student who wrote about Natto. Now, let's have a little chat about Natto......

In reality, Natto is nothing but fermented soy beans, and is generally eaten with soy sauce for breakfast here. I first came across them one morning in Seattle. Winston convinced me to try eating a "traditional Japanese breakfast," and despite my apphrension at eating something that looked like eggs from "Invasion of the Body Snatchers" wrapped in spider webs, I gave it a try. One bite in I  immediately regretted my decision. Eating something that looks like it came out the uterus of some sci-fi alien is as dumb as eating anything in a cafeteria with the word "surprise" in it... you just don't do it! Needless to say Winston read my reaction rather well, and finished my breakfast while I opted for cereal. However, the bit of Natto lingered, and an hour later I threw up... not fun. 

So, back on topic, six months later I find myself reading about Natto... I don't know if I should have written this student's essay verbatim in my journal... but I just couldn't resist. Here it is, every reason why I should try Natto, from one of my students.....

I want to eat Natto you. 

Because nattou is very delisiouse and your condition will be goot well. 

It is health food. 

Recentry, spagety, kare rice, and sushi with eat. 

Reading this essay, I couldn't help but re-live my wasted breakfast. But the essay was still hilarious. 

On a side note, I believe Karma recentry bit me in the ass for my amusement at this little essay. As promised, Winston did indeed send me a can of re-friend beans. However, the Japanese Postal Service opted not only to randomly inspect the package, but for some reason they opted to OPEN THE BEANS TO INSPECT THEM. So I received the can in the mail... taped shut. Oh the irony of it all. 

Japan 1, Erin 0

HITPARADE CLUB, an introduction to Japan....

Hello family, friends, and foreigners! After what is rapidly becoming two months of living abroad, I've finally decided to start a blog dedicated to my Japanese misadventures. Considering that I have an actual big-kid 8:30-4:15 Monday-Friday job, don't expect hourly updates or anything. However, I assure you I will do my best to document all weekend debauchery, vacations, misadventures in miscommunication with my students (and my teachers, and the locals...basically everyone in this country), and of course I will give you play by play recounts of my battles with the hand-sized spiders that reside in my paper house. So, you may be asking yourself, "Why is there a picture of three Japanese people at a "sock-hop" on Erin's new blog?Let me tell you about a little pocket of Kyushu trapped in the 1950s, because stepping through the doors of the HITPARADE Club is like taking a trip back in time in the Delorean with the Doc..... Buckle your seat belts and pack your plutonium. 

HITPARADE was single-handedly one of the funniest things I've seen in my entire life. I think I could leave for America tomorrow with the sense that I'd seen everything I needed to see of Japan. The whole club was a trip. After spending 20 minutes or so weaving through the back allies of Beppu my friends and I came upon a flashing sign covered in Confederate flags... I'm not even joking, bonefied Confederate flags. We walked to the ticket counter, and were greeted by the ticket taker, who had some of the most greased up 50's hair I'd ever seen (until I walked into the club). I was epic. The whole place was really dimly lit. Everything was finished in a darkly stained wood, which made the whole place seem every darker. The walls were lined with old black and white posters of old Hollywood celebrities, and all the hallways that lead to the bathroom were named things like "Sunset Boulevard" and "Fifth Ave." This is how I imagine the theatre Abraham Lincoln was shot in looks like... only with electricity, tiled floors, and Japanese people dressed as Elvis.

Lucky for me, I walked in on the last few minutes of a set. Now, HITPARADE must seem like hell to the performers. I imagine it's a lot like "Groundhog's Day," only worse. At least in "Groundhog's Day" Bill Murray could run amok and learn to make ice-sculptures. I'm sure these folks don't get those kind of opportunities.  I'm not exaggerating when I say that they all looked like soul-less drones stuck in an alternate universe where they use a lot of hairspray and mindlessly sing the same songs every night. The two women looked like glorified 50's housewives, which was really kind of adorable.

While they looked cute all dressed up in sock-hop attire, there were a few creepy things about this pair. For starters, the girl in the floral dress had the most bizarre expression on her face, like she was an Asian Marilyn Monroe blow-up doll. The girl in the red did all the announcements, but her voice was disturbing. She rattled off in the fastest, high pitched voice I"ve ever heard. She was like a Japanese cartoon character version of a dog whistle... if that makes any sense. Alright, now that I've described the ladies, let's move on to the gents.......

Now the Saxophone player was by far my favorite. First off, he was wearing a sea foam green suit and he had a leopard print strap holding up his saxophone of glory.  He made that sax sing, like an Asian Kenny G in platform saddle-shoes. He also had the best hair, and smiled a few times, which made me want to take him home. The lead singer was in a white and black suit with a red dress shirt, fastened at the top with a pretty righteous bow-low. How he found a western bow-low in Japan I will never know. He was by far the one who acted/looked most like Elvis. If we're lucky maybe we will see him in Vegas someday. I don't remember much about the bass player or the keyboard player, they were both stuck in opposite corners. However, the drummer sang a few Beatles songs.  Now, the lead guitarist really blew my skirt up. He probably the most talented musician of the lot. His fingers just seemed to dance and fly all over the frets of his sea-foam green Fender Strat. I like to think he could be the Santana of Japan. 

So, needless to say the band really provided a lot of entertainment. My personal favorite was their renditions of the "Happy Birthday" song, which sounds a lot like "Hoppy Burseday" in Engrish. So with the band rockin' out, the foreigners hit the dance floor.

So, half way through a night of dancing and an "all you can eat" buffet (complete with ice cream, french fries, garlic bread, and udon....) we made a few new friends. Let me now introduce my two new favorite Japanese kids in the universe........ 



My friend Cheryl put it best when she described these two as "the coolest kids to ever enter an alcoholic establishment," but it's true! Not only did they know lots of adorable English phrases like "What's your name?" "Where are you from," and "Will you dance with me?" but their parents were actually laid back enough to let their adorable kids jump around the dance floor with a bunch of foreigners. 

I can't remember the little boy's name, but the little girl was named Mai. Honestly, it's hard not to love someone who can still dress like Minnie Mouse in public without any social ramifications. Now that I am sort-of grown up, I must say I miss that type of freedom!

So that about sums it up for my evening at HITPARADE. I ate my weight in buffet food and danced the night away with some new friends. I hope this illustrated account of my misadventures in time-travel serves as an inspiration for all of you to come see me in Japan.... I'll take you to HITPARADE!!!!! On a parting note, here are a few pictures of some of my new friends.