Life in Shelob's Lair

Much to my dismay I was called into work this past Saturday for PTA day. Basically, the parents of the students come to the school and observe lessons. This is a big deal for the actual faculty. They spend heaps of time pre-paring, writing memos, and stressing out. For me, all it meant was that I had to go to one class, dress somewhat nice (ie not in jeans) and spend the rest of the day quietly at my desk. So on Saturday morning at 6:30 am I found myself showered, hair dried, lunch packed, and headed to my closet to look for my seersucker pants.  I'd decided to wear my seersucker pants to work because they're cute, and they're comfortable as hell. If a pair of Carharts and my favorite sweatpants had a baby, that baby would come in the form of my favorite seersucker pants. I call them my "Train Conductor Pants," although I can't really give you a reason why. 

So on Saturday morning unsuspecting Erin in her poka-dot underpants opened her closet and about had a heart attach when she saw the critter hanging out on a pair of Joe's Jeans. 

Meet Shelob

I assume all giant spiders are female and feast on flesh because I was the type of kid to read Lord of the Rings, instead of Charlotte's Web. 

Now, upon seeing The Fellowship of the Ring in theatres my Mom came home and told me that my small stature, pale skin, appetite, lovably dis-shoveled curly hair, and callused feet (seriously, I could probably walk on coals) had her convinced I was a Hobbit. Awesome. 

So, just as  Frodo found himself face to face with Shelob deep within the Ephel Duath Mountains that border Mordor, I found myself face to face with a beast of its likeness in my closet. Only unlike Frodo who was armed with Sting (the enchanted sword that glows blue when Orcs are near), all I had was tupperware. 

Frodo's Sword vs Erin's Tupperware 

So, upon encasing Shelob in an impenetrable fortress of cheap plastic, Erin the Brave and most Literary of all Hobbits (that's me!) ran outside, opened the lid, chucked the beast to the other end of the yard, and upon hearing a loud "thud" ran back into the house and slammed the door.

So ends my tale. After teaching one class on "Subject-Verb-Object-Object" and "Subject-Verb-Object-Complementary" sentence structures I spent the rest of my day reading the His Dark Materials trilogy. At 4:00 I hopped in my car and drove into Oita City to have dinner with my friends, after which we used the timer on my camera to take a picture together in front of a Combini- because it's come to my attention that we don't have many group pictures together. 

That night I decided that this Christmas I am going to ask for a sword, for the slaying of man devouring spiders, because I'm not much like other girls. 

The End